I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
