Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
