when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
