Are we in a gay sports bar?
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i think i have herpe
just one?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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