is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
