Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Randomize
