We should be called the Road Head Warriors
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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