She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
