Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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