i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
