and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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