just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
