Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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