I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
