Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
the gays at disneyland are vicious
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
All I want is dick and wine.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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