I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
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