everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
