Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
