she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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