Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
