So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Randomize
