Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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