Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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