I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
