the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
