I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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