okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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