Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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