come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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