epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
