Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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