Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
