Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
