i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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