don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
only you would photoshop your dick
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
