Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
