do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
