So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize