i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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