Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize