I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
