I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
