Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
