the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
