When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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