if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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