We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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