Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
