I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
We had sex on a dog bed..
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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