My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Randomize
