She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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