Why does Corona taste like a burp?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
