So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
whose parrot is this?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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