I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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