8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
