But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Randomize