Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
And then my night got REAL pukey
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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