You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i drank out of a bidet.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
